Oh Baby: 39 Weeks

Well, this is it. My very last bump update. As I sit here writing this, in about 12 hours, my alarm will be going off signalling that it's time to get up and get over to the hospital. It's such a weird thing - setting your alarm to go have your baby, and just like with Sully's delivery, it won't really feel 100% real until we are at the hospital and heading into the OR.

Last week, I was so ready physically, to have this baby. But funnily enough, the past several days I've been the most comfortable I've been in weeks. Or maybe the chaos of Christmas and tidying up and doing laundry, etc, distracted me enough from the fact that I am 39 weeks pregnant. Either way, the thought that come tomorrow, I will have two children, is so surreal. You spend so many weeks and days being pregnant, watching your belly grow, adapting to the physical changes and anxiously awaiting to meet your new baby, and sometimes it feels like that day is never going to come! But here I am, about to have my life completely change again tomorrow.

I feel so unprepared in some ways. Unprepared to breastfeed around the clock again. Unprepared to be woken up several times a night and function on little to no sleep. Unprepared to care for a newborn and a toddler.

And I'm also scared. Scared to have another surgery. Scared to have another incision and have to let it heal. Scared that I won't have the patience to be the best mother to both my children. Scared that I won't know how to ask for help when I need it, or to accept it when it's offered. In some ways I'm comforted by the fact that I've already had a c-section and know what to expect for the most part, but sometimes too much knowledge is scary too.

And then there's Sully. I'm so, so excited for him to be a big brother, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how he's going to take it. We had a very trying week with him: lots of meltdowns and temper tantrums and bad behaviour. I'm not sure if it's just a case of the terrible twos, or if he's more aware of the changes that are about to take place than we give him credit for. Or maybe it's a combination of the two. Thankfully, at least I know he will be in good hands with his Nanny and Papa while Jim and I are in the hospital with the new baby.

Anyway, this pregnancy has just flown by, as I knew it would. Sure, some of the days were dreadfully long, but it doesn't feel very long ago that we found out I was pregnant. And, as terrified and unprepared as I feel, I'm also looking forward to starting this new chapter of our life, getting out of maternity clothes, getting back into shape (one day) and living and enjoying life as a family of four.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages today, wishing me all the best for tomorrow and letting me know you're thinking of me and baby. Your thoughts and support mean the world to me! xoxo

Hey, Baby! 39 Weeks+

I started this post earlier in the week (closer to when I was actually 39 weeks, not almost 40), when I received a phone call from my doctor`s office that shook up my whole week. While it's not a secret, I haven't openly talked about it on the blog, but I've always known that Baby Fraser would be delivered via c-section due to medical complications from my past health history. Our original date of delivery was supposed to be on Monday, February 24. Now, it is tomorrow. And while I should be in bed, I needed to get out one last pregnancy update before I am no longer pregnant! Which still blows my mind and it still hasn't fully sunk in that this time tomorrow, I will finally be holding my sweet little baby in my arms.

So while I had planned on having a relaxing weekend of sleeping in, taking it easy and just hanging with my family, instead, I feel like that last few days have been a flurry of last minute to-dos. I mean, I've always been a last minute kind of person, and I totally understand that I could have gone into labour at any point this week regardless of my planned section, but STILL. It's all very weird knowing you will be delivering your baby tomorrow even though you've had no signs of labour. 

That being said, the thought of finally holding our little baby boy, after all these months of kicks and gentle reminders that there is in fact a little human growing inside of me brings me to tears and makes my heart swell up more than I ever thought possible. Pregnancy is honestly such a miracle and I feel very blessed that I've had a healthy, risk-free pregnancy and an overly supportive husband by my side. 

I've been pretty uncomfortable these past few weeks and while I say I'm not mentally ready for baby to come out (will I ever be mentally prepared??), physically, I am ready for him to make his entrance. I'm ready to be able to carry on a conversation without getting incredibly short of breath. I'm ready to not have so much pain in my legs by the end of the day that it's almost impossible to climb up the stairs to go to bed. I'm ready to see Jim be a dad and my parents be grandparents. It's time to welcome this baby boy into our lives and share him with our families!

I'll be back as soon as I can to introduce Baby Fraser to all of you! :)

xoxo Brie