Peace of Mind with Owlet

This post was sponsored by Owlet, but as always, all thoughts and reviews 

expressed are my own. Thank you for supporting the companies that continue to 

make this hobby of mine possible!

I think one of the scariest things about being a parent is nighttime. You so desperately want your babies to go to sleep so that you can get some sleep, but then once they are asleep you can't help but worry. Are they safe? Are they still breathing? What if I don't hear her if she wakes up? I'm a pretty easing going parent, too easy, some might say, except when it comes to sleep. Peace of mind at nighttime can be hard to come by when you're a parent.

I like to keep my babies close during those first few months. I sleep better with them in my room, and I'd by lying if I said I didn't check on them a few times in the middle of the night to feel for their chest moving up and down. Emmy likes to sleep wrapped up like a burrito so sometimes it's hard to tell if she's moved at all once I've put her down for the evening.

And no matter how many times I check on Emmy, nighttime still makes me nervous. Plus, she goes to bed hours before me, so I'm not always upstairs when she's sleeping. This is where Owlet comes in and gives me peace of mind. The Owlet Smart Sock 2, which debuted last month, tracks your babe's heart rate and oxygen saturation and is designed to notify you if either falls out of the preset zones. As a registered nurse turned stay-at-home-mom, this technology is amazing to me.

The Owlet Smart Sock 2 comes with a small, minimalist base station and 3 different sized socks which are meant to grow with your baby. For reference, Emmy is wearing the second sock, which is designed for ages 1-4 months. The sock can be worn on either foot, and even with a squirming baby, is easy to put on. Then you download the Owlet app on to your phone and it will take you through the set-up, which was also incredibly easy. I did have issues getting my wi-fi to connect with the base, but I followed the trouble-shooting guide and all I had to do was restart my phone. There's also a short video on the app when you're setting it up which I found useful, so I would definitely recommend not skipping it. You can customize the app to your baby by adding his/her birth date and photo and you can turn the base station off and on right from the app. If an alarm goes off, both your phone and your base station are designed to notify you.

I can't compare the Smart Sock 2 to the original one since I never tried that one, but from what I've learned, the improvements Owlet made to their original design have only further enhanced the brilliance of this product. The sock has been redesigned so that it fits more securely and the sensors are positioned so that there are fewer false notifications. The bluetooth range has been increased to 100 feet, which means the sock can be further away from the base station now, and the socks have been made open toed, making them more breathable and also allowing placement on either foot.

We've been using the Owlet for a few weeks now, and I cannot emphasize enough, the peace of mind it has given me when I go to bed at night. Or anytime Emmy is sleeping. I know there are so many "must have" baby products out there nowadays, but I honestly think, sponsored post or not, this is that one item that every parent should have, whether you're a first, second, or third time parent. And if you're not a parent, but you know of one, or one to be, do them a favour and let them know about this product. If I could go back in time and have this technology for when Sully was a baby (had I known it about then), I 100% would!

What's in My Diaper Bag

When I was pregnant for the first time, I went out and splurged on an expensive diaper bag that I just "had to have". I told myself, if I was going to be trucking along a diaper bag for the next few years or so, I wanted it to look pretty as well as be functional. That bag served it's purpose, but now that I have a few years of parenting experience under my belt and am the mom to a toddler and a newborn, I've learned a few things along the way when it comes to diaper bags and what to pack in them.

This time around, I've ditched the traditional style diaper bag as lugging around a heavy diaper bag on my shoulder isn't fun, no matter how pretty the bag is. And while it can seem daunting, especially for first time moms, to leave the house after baby is born, I've also learned that I don't need to bring the entire nursery along with me. Three years of parenthood under my belt and I like to think I have streamlined the process of packing a diaper bag! 

So here's a look at what I deem to be diaper bag essentials:

1. Back Pack: This time around, I ditched the shoulder style diaper bag for a backpack. This classic pack that Fjällräven sent me is the perfect size, is comfortable to carry around and saves my shoulders. I also love that it's multi-purpose (it would make a great over night bag or carry-on bag on the plane) and it's something my husband can use too without feeling silly. 

2. Reusable Snack Bags: Snacks for the toddler are one of the most important things I can pack in my bag.  I never dare leave the house without them. These ones from Bumkins are eco-friendly, waterproof, and machine/dishwasher safe. And snacks out of cute bags just makes even the most boring of snacks that much more fun. 

3. Water Bottle: I love my S'well water bottle because it keeps my water cold all day long (I can't stand warm water). And nothing annoys me more than having to purchase a bottle of water when out running errands.

4. Lip Chap: Given the climate I live in, lip chap is a must. This one from Burt's Bees is my current fav. Loaded with vitamin E and coconut oil, it keeps my lips soft and I love the cooling effect the peppermint extract provides. 

5. Granola Bars: I've been the victim of hanger one too many times so I know better than to not have snacks on hand for me. While I don't like to rely on protein or granola bars every time I go out, having one on hand is a much better option than hitting up the drive-thru. Knowing what a huge fan I am of chocolate mint, Ange gifted me a box of these Dark Chocolate Almond Mint KIND bars, and they are my absolute favourite now. 

6. Baby Wipes: Not just for babies! Sure, now that I have a baby requiring multiple diapers changes in a day, wipes are a must, but I think having wipes on hand is awesome even when you don't have children with you. I use them from everything from diaper changes, to cleaning off public tables, washing hands and faces, cleaning up spilt coffee, etc. I like to buy my wipes in bulk and then put some in one of these cute little portable wipes clutches from Huggies. 

7. Hand Cream: Again, dry climate demands hand cream even at the best of times. In the winter months, I'm especially prone to really dry, chapped hands, so I'm always on the lookout for a good, non-greasy one. I love this one from Skinfix, and while pricey, a little goes a long way. 

8. Swaddle Blankets: A large swaddle blanket is a must now that I have a newborn again. I consider it a multi-purpose item as I can use it as a blanket, a burp cloth, or a change pad. Rolled up tight, they take up very little room in my bag so I always have one or two with me. 

9. Shopping Cart Hammock: For these early months with a small baby, I love my hammock from Binxy Baby. It gives me more room in the cart and keeps my baby safe. While I don't like trucking around extra baby gear, this rolls up nice and tight so it fits in my back pack easily. 

10. Books: I always have a book or two on hand to entertain my toddler while waiting for appointments. We're both big fans of these mini Robert Munsch ones as you can bring along several without sacrificing space or adding additional weight in your diaper bag.

11. Car Seat/Nursing Cover: Every mom needs one of these multipurpose covers. It makes a stylish car seat cover while also providing shelter from all types of weather. And it's the easiest nursing cover I've ever used. It folds up into practically nothing, fitting easily into even the smallest of diaper bags. I love them so much, I own two! 

And it probably goes without saying, as I didn't include it in my list, but obviously a few diapers and an extra sleeper for baby make it into my bag as well. 

So, that's what's taking up real estate in my diaper bag!


What are some must have items in your diaper bag?

No diaper bag? Tell me something you have in your purse!

*This post was sponsored by Fjällräven Canada, but as always, all opinions and reviews expressed are my own. 

Thank you for supporting the companies that continue to make this hobby of mine possible! 

Affiliate links have not been used.

Welcome, Little Emmy

One week ago, on December 28th, Miss Emmeline Marie Fraser entered this world at 10:17 a.m., and just like with the birth of Sully, our lives were changed in an instant.

Emmy is the piece of our family puzzle that completes us. She is the calm to Sully's storm. She is the daughter I always hoped for. She is healthy, and beautiful, and I fell in love with her instantly. I want so desperately to freeze time and make the newborn stage last longer, but I'm also looking forward to watching her grow up, to see the little girl she will turn into.

And like her brother, we wanted to give her a strong name, one she will grow into, but also one that gives us a cute nickname to call her by.

She's our little Emmy and she's perfect. All 6 pounds, 14 ounces of her.

Emmy's delivery went even smoother than could have been expected. I feel incredibly blessed to have had the birth that we had, and I will be sharing her birth story on the blog in the next little while. In the meantime, I'm cherishing every moment I get to snuggle with both my babies.

Thanks again for all the messages, texts, and phone calls congratulating us on the birth of Miss Emmy.

xoxo

Oh Baby: 39 Weeks

Well, this is it. My very last bump update. As I sit here writing this, in about 12 hours, my alarm will be going off signalling that it's time to get up and get over to the hospital. It's such a weird thing - setting your alarm to go have your baby, and just like with Sully's delivery, it won't really feel 100% real until we are at the hospital and heading into the OR.

Last week, I was so ready physically, to have this baby. But funnily enough, the past several days I've been the most comfortable I've been in weeks. Or maybe the chaos of Christmas and tidying up and doing laundry, etc, distracted me enough from the fact that I am 39 weeks pregnant. Either way, the thought that come tomorrow, I will have two children, is so surreal. You spend so many weeks and days being pregnant, watching your belly grow, adapting to the physical changes and anxiously awaiting to meet your new baby, and sometimes it feels like that day is never going to come! But here I am, about to have my life completely change again tomorrow.

I feel so unprepared in some ways. Unprepared to breastfeed around the clock again. Unprepared to be woken up several times a night and function on little to no sleep. Unprepared to care for a newborn and a toddler.

And I'm also scared. Scared to have another surgery. Scared to have another incision and have to let it heal. Scared that I won't have the patience to be the best mother to both my children. Scared that I won't know how to ask for help when I need it, or to accept it when it's offered. In some ways I'm comforted by the fact that I've already had a c-section and know what to expect for the most part, but sometimes too much knowledge is scary too.

And then there's Sully. I'm so, so excited for him to be a big brother, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about how he's going to take it. We had a very trying week with him: lots of meltdowns and temper tantrums and bad behaviour. I'm not sure if it's just a case of the terrible twos, or if he's more aware of the changes that are about to take place than we give him credit for. Or maybe it's a combination of the two. Thankfully, at least I know he will be in good hands with his Nanny and Papa while Jim and I are in the hospital with the new baby.

Anyway, this pregnancy has just flown by, as I knew it would. Sure, some of the days were dreadfully long, but it doesn't feel very long ago that we found out I was pregnant. And, as terrified and unprepared as I feel, I'm also looking forward to starting this new chapter of our life, getting out of maternity clothes, getting back into shape (one day) and living and enjoying life as a family of four.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me messages today, wishing me all the best for tomorrow and letting me know you're thinking of me and baby. Your thoughts and support mean the world to me! xoxo

10 Baby Items You Don't Need

With Baby #2 expected to make her arrival in just over a week now, I'm finding myself going through piles of baby stuff, making lists on things I still need to pick up, and reflecting on baby paraphernalia that I thought I needed with Sully that I ended up finding completely useless or not worth the money. I don't believe for a second that all your baby needs is clothes, diapers and love. Sure, you would survive that way, but there are some pretty cool baby items out there nowadays that make life with a newborn easier. But that also means there are a lot of baby related things out there that are not worth your money no matter how well the marketing on it might be.

With that being said, obviously this is a subjective list since everyone's needs differ and what works for one parent (or baby), might not work for another, but overall, when I think about the baby items that are useless or a waste of money, these one's make my list.

1. Burp Cloths: Totally unnecessary. For starters, they are too small and 10 times out of 10, the spit up is going to roll farther down your shoulder than the burp cloth covers. I'm all for multipurpose items and I found that receiving blankets thrown over your shoulder did a much better job of collecting spit up.

2. Change Table: A piece of furniture that baby will outgrow doesn't make sense to me. Buy a change pad and place it on top of a dresser. Or, change your baby on the couch or the floor, which is what I ended up doing most of the time. Great way to prevent baby falling too!

3. Wipes Warmer: I know, I know, it's a great idea! And I have friends who loved theirs. But I so rarely changed diapers in the exact same spot that the cost of one just doesn't seem worth it. And my son survived without one. Plus, do you really want to accustom your baby to only having it's butt wiped with something warm? What happens then when you aren't at home? Skip it. Babies all over the world have survived cold wipes.

4. The Pee-pee Teepee: These were passed on to me from a co-worker as a bit of a joke gift, but at first I was like, these are genius! No. Just a complete novelty item. First of all, you aren't going to pull them out every time you go to change a diaper. And if you do happen to remember to, if baby does pee, then you've just added another thing to be washed. Also, I never once was peed on...it's pretty easy to gauge when your baby boy is about to pee and a washcloth, wipe or the diaper that is still underneath the baby will suffice.

5. Sleepers that go over the head: Why would anyone think these are a good idea?! It's hard enough dressing a wriggly, screaming baby, let alone getting them into a sleeper that only goes over their head. Throw in a poop explosion and you'll be cutting that thing off with scissors!

6. Diaper Genie: Everyone tells you you need one. And I agree to an extent. The first few months of baby's life, you go through a butt load of stinky diapers so it's nice to have a closed system to contain them. BUT...I still found the smell to be unbearable once you have to empty the diaper genie. And don't even get me started on how expensive the bag refills are for them!! Once I ran out of my refills with my second hand diaper genie, I stopped using it. I'd rather take the garbage out twice a day then spend good money on garbage bags.

7. The Bumbo: You either love your Bumbo or don't. I definitely thought it was one of those "must have" items, so I picked one up second hand. My kid hated it from the beginning and after reading some articles on how it forces your baby into unnatural positions, I knew it wasn't for me. No judgement on mom's who love theirs, but I think a bouncy chair or the floor provides a better option!

8. Shopping Cart Cover: Do you really want to drag another baby item along with you wherever you go? No, you really don't. I get it, you want to keep your baby safe from germs, but I'm of the camp that exposure to germs isn't always a bad thing. And I bet 9 times out of 10, you'll forget to bring the damn thing into the store with you anyway. If you must, give the handle and seat a quick wipe down.

9. The Baby Bullet: I will admit, years before I had my own kid, I thought the Baby Bullet was so cute and I wanted one. But the reality is, a Magic Bullet or any high speed blender for that matter, will do the trick. Plus, it will also make adult sized portions so you won't need to store two different blenders.

10. The Snoogle: OK, technically not a baby item, but I'm throwing this one in anyway. My first pregnancy, I bought the regular Snoogle and hated it. When it was time to switch sides I was laying on, I'd have to flip the whole thing over, but I'd have to lift the covers off the bed first. Way too much work. And I found it uncomfortable on my head. This pregnancy, I decided to try the Snoogle on Steroids, aka The Back 'N Belly Body Pillow. It was definitely comfortable at first, but then I didn't know where to put my arms! Threading one underneath the pillow made it fall asleep and I didn't know where else to put it. That thing, along with the cover for it, was freaking expensive so I returned it right away. Two king-sized pillows, or body pillows to support my hips did the job just fine!


Come back tomorrow to see what my top baby items are!


Parents out there - what baby items did you find to be useless or overrated? 

Oh Baby: 36 Weeks

It's baby month! It's so weird to think about, especially since this time of year is so consumed with all things Christmas, that I sometimes forget that we will also be welcoming a new addition to our family in about three and a half short weeks. It still doesn't feel completely real yet, even though my expanding belly reminds me otherwise. And even though baby's delivery date is all scheduled, I'm also starting to think about the fact that she very well could decide to come early! It's kind of weird when you have a scheduled c-section because it's like having a baby agenda and everything is planned out and it's hard to prepare for things to go otherwise. Sully was delivered via scheduled c-section only a day before his due date, but it's normal to be late with your first. Since this baby is scheduled for delivery 5 days before her due date, I'm hopeful everything will stay on track. And even as I write that I think how naive that could sound since we all know babies make up their own rules when it comes to making their entrance into the world!

Anyway, the countdown is most definitely on, and considering today is already December 5th, I know this month is going to fly on by. This past weekend we had some maternity/family photos done and I can't wait to see and share them! It ended up feeling much colder out than temperatures dictated, but my boys were troopers for staying out there for almost two hours.

These past few weeks, I've noticed a big increase in Sully's interest in the "baby in mama's belly". He often asks to see the baby and lifts up my shirt to do so. Then he will touch my belly or ask if he can kiss the baby. Sometimes I try to get him to hold his little hand still so he can feel her kicking, but he usually starts giggling and then says the baby is trying to hug him. It's seriously the sweetest moments and makes me so excited to see him be a big brother. We also have conversations every day about the baby because while he's aware something is going on inside of me, I'm not convinced he really gets it.

Sully: There's a baby in your belly!
Me: There is. Is the baby going to come out soon?
Sully: Yes! And then it will come out my belly. And then dada's. *And then he lifts up his shirt and points to his belly*
Me: Is the baby going to be a boy or a girl?
Sully: A boy!
Me: No, I think it's a girl.
Sully: No, it's a boy! *laughs hysterically*
Me: What should we name the baby?
Sully: I don't know!
Me: What colour of hair is the baby going to have?
Sully: White!
Me: What colour of eyes will the baby have?
Sully: Blue! (Some days he says green, some days he says red).
Me: Are you going to share your crib with the baby?
Sully: Yup!
Me: What else are you going to share with the baby?
Sully: My mo-mo bike! (his push ride-on motorbike).
Me: Are you going to read her books? Which book will you read her?
Sully: The Pigeon Wants a Puppy!
Me: Will you sing the baby a song?
Sully: Yup! The sunshine song!

And then some days, when we are at the kitchen table, I'll sit down and kind of groan from the back/groin pain and he will say: "You belly too full, mama? You back hurt?" God bless his little heart. Some of the things he says or remembers that I've said blows my mind.

It's weird to think about how the days of it being just me and Sully are coming to an end, and a part of me will mourn that. It's been just me and him for almost 3 years. I know it will be a transition for the both of us for sure. But it also fills me with such joy to be able to bring another child into our world, a sibling for my son, and hopefully a life-long best friend. That, my friends, is worth all the physical complaints I have right now.

Just 3.5 more weeks, baby girl. See you soon. xoxo

Oh Baby: 32 Weeks

Dear Little Sweet Pea,

The other day, we got to see you on ultrasound again. For no reason other than our doctor said "why not?" since the last time we got to see you was at 19 weeks. And who am I to turn down an opportunity to see you and how much you've grown? Your big brother came with us to the ultrasound and was pretty fascinated by "the baby" on the television screen. He kept saying you were crying, although it looked more like you were sleeping with the odd yawn. We only got a quick glimpse of your face as you had your back to us for the most part. I had to lay on my side for most of the ultrasound since I cannot lay on my back at all without getting short of breath and dizzy to the point where I feel like I'm about to faint.

You're taking up more and more room in my belly so it was hard to see all of you in there, but we did get to see your feet and face, and it was confirmed again that you are in fact a girl. Your daddy and I are still trying to decide on a name for you, although I think I may be close to convincing him of my favourite one. The doctor at the ultrasound clinic said you are growing well and are currently approximately 3.5 lbs, which puts you in the 50th percentile. I do not expect you to be a big baby, especially since your big brother was tiny and skinny and is still a small guy. According to my pregnancy app, this means you are the size of a Florida Pomelo fruit, which of course, I had to google. On other baby sites, at 32 weeks, you are the length and size of a spread out kale leaf.

Your daddy and I wonder everyday what you will look like...will you have white blond hair like your brother? Or will you have red hair like your aunty and cousin? I always imagined I'd have a little red-headed girl one day. Red does run in both sides of the family, so it's not a total long-shot!

This pregnancy is going so much quicker with you than it did with your brother. I'm sure this is because of a few different reasons (the timing of your birth - Christmas always sneaks up on you!, and the fact that I spend the majority of my day running around after your brother), but I still can't believe that I will finally get to meet you in less than 8 weeks now. And as uncomfortable as I am these days, I hope you stay in there until your delivery date!

Even as I sit here typing this, I can see your little jabs and pokes through my belly, and I'm so overcome with gratitude and love that there's this tiny little person growing inside of me, getting ready to join our family and complete us. I didn't know what my life was going to look like at age 33, but I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and I wouldn't want my life to be any other way.

Seven and a half more weeks, Sweet Pea, seven and a half more weeks. I already love you more than you could ever know.

xoxo Mommy

Oh Baby: 30 Weeks

30 weeks. I am officially in my third trimester, and if everything goes according to plan (famous last words, I'm sure), then our little baby will be joining our family in exactly 9 weeks. Which is mind-boggling to me. Only two months left to cook this baby.

I haven't been doing pregnancy updates this time around, as I'm sure you've noticed (or maybe you haven't because pregnancy updates aren't really your thing anyway). I didn't do them frequently with Sully either, but I thought I would do more with this baby than I have. Truth be told, I haven't even been taking bump photos. I find the whole idea exhausting and I'm usually less than pleased with how I look on any given day. Not that I have to publicly share any of these photos, I know I should be taking them for myself, but I'm finding the weeks are bleeding one into another and all of a sudden, months have passed since I took my last bump photo. Part of me doesn't feel badly at all, but another part of me doesn't want to regret not capturing this pregnancy in some state, so going forward, I am vowing to make a better effort and documenting my growing belly.

Anyway. 30 weeks. The first trimester was a tough one. So much exhaustion. So much nausea (no morning sickness though, thank goodness) and way more food aversions than I ever experienced with Sully. Luckily, the second trimester brought me a ton of relief. Newfound energy, no more nausea, I could finally drink coffee again (yay!) and I was still somewhat active.

Enter the third trimester. The past few weeks have been tough. I don't feel incredibly large physically, but I carry my babies really high. This means the pressure on my chest and airway is almost debilitating at times. I'm constantly in a state of trying to catch my breath. I'm feeling exhausted once again and the shortness of breath is definitely to blame. The SI Joint pain I experienced with Sully has returned, although it's not as bad as the first time around. But the back pain is worse, and I know that's due to running around and picking up a toddler all day long. I also went into this pregnancy 20 pounds heavier than I did with Sully, so I know that's a factor in how I'm feeling over all too.

I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining. I wouldn't give up this experience for anything - pain, exhaustion and all! I've never once taken my pregnancy for granted and everyday I feel incredibly blessed and grateful that I have been able to become pregnant for a second time around and am carrying a healthy baby inside of me. In the grand scheme of things, pregnancy is such a short time in one's life.

So that's where I'm at right now. I'm taking it one day at a time and hoping that I get some energy back before baby arrives. In the meantime, I'm trying my hardest to be present and enjoy every single moment I have where it's just me and Sully. I have this endless 'to-do before baby comes' list, but thankfully my type B personality accepts that most of it probably won't get done, and I'm okay with that. Because in 1, 2, even 5 years, all that I'm going to remember is my babies and the feelings and memories associated with being their mother, and not the walls that didn't get painted or the clothes that didn't get organized.

Although, I do really hope the walls get painted.

Will I Have Another Child? {An Honest Reflection}

We're at that point in our life when people and family members gently start asking us if we are planning on growing our family. Sully is now two years old and Jim and I aren't getting any younger. It's pretty common for people to have their children 2-3 years apart, so I'm not surprised that inquiring minds want to know if we have plans to have another child .

It's no secret that I do want another child. While I would be completely and utterly happy with just Sully in my life should we not be able to conceive another child, I never pictured having an only child. Before I even had Sully, I always assumed I would have a second child no more than 2 years after my first. But then once you become a mom, you realize how quickly you actually have to get pregnant after your first in order to make that age gap happen! Obviously it's done all the time, but when Sully was just over a year old, I knew I wasn't ready to be pregnant again. And to be honest, I was glad I wasn't pregnant. I adore and cherish this time that I get to spend with just him.

So we held off on trying to get pregnant right away. It's amazing how fast time flies though. As Sully got closer and closer to turning two years old, I couldn't stop thinking about how we had missed the two-year age gap boat and are closing in on the three-year age gap soon. I was glad to not have a newborn and a young toddler to take care of, but I also somewhat regretted that a possible future sibling for Sully wasn't going to be as close in age to him. The reality is a bit bitter-sweet - I love having all of this time with just Sully, but having that time means a bigger age gap between him and a potential second child. And now, I'm realizing how easy it is to miss the two-year age gap and have a three or even four-year age gap. Time passes so fast. I'm also not even sure anymore that there is a "perfect" age gap. I think it's relative to what each parent experiences and I've met people with children with small age gaps and larger ones and they all think their children's age gap is great.

Having a second child is something I think about all the time. But it's also something that terrifies me. It's something that makes me question every part of my capabilities as a parent. Am I patient enough to have another baby? How will I care for a newborn and a rambunctious toddler who is used to spending all of his time with me? How will I give my new child my undivided attention like I was able to give Sully? Will I be able to devote as much time to breastfeeding as I did with Sully?

And then there are all the selfish thoughts that go through my head. I'm finally at a place in my life where Sully doesn't need me 24/7 or depend on me like his newborn self did. I have my social life back (and one I really enjoy), I can go away overnight without worrying about whether he won't take a bottle or not, I'm finally back on track with my fitness journey, and I get an uninterrupted night of sleep every night.  How can I go back to sleepless nights and getting up multiple times a night and then also take care of a toddler the next day? How will I ever get out of the house with two kids - I can't even get anywhere on time with one! I won't have as much time to read books. Or blog. Or do things for myself.

And the biggest thing I think about: how do you go backwards in life? Because in my mind, having a second baby is a lot like going back in time. Just when you get passed the difficult newborn and baby stage, you have to start all over again. And your body no longer belongs to just you. You're nursing around the clock and a tiny human is dependant on you for the first several months of life. Your body will change again, weight gain will happen, possibly more stretch marks will appear, and I'm really not sure where the time or the energy to workout again will ever come from.

BUT. (Of course there's a but!). This chapter of my life is so short in the grand scheme of my life. When you're in the throws of taking care of a newborn, it's hard to see the light ahead some days. But it's true what people say - before you know it, your baby is no longer a baby and they are a walking, talking, tantrum-throwing toddler. I know one day, not too far away, I will look back on the early years of parenthood and wish for them back. So while I may be scared and feeling selfish about having another child, I know that ultimately, it's exactly what I want. When I think of our future, I don't see a family of three. I envision four of us - out there, exploring the world together, loving each other and growing together.

It's inevitable that you have to give some things up in those first few months of your baby's life, but the reward is worth it. I know this. And even though the days can be hard, I truly believe that we aren't given anything in life that we can't ultimately handle. So should I be blessed with conceiving another child, I know I will be ok. I will be more than ok. And I will give thanks everyday for being lucky enough to provide my son with a sibling, my parents and in-laws with another grandchild, and my husband and I with another child.

So for those inquiring minds out there...yes. My answer is yes, I would love to have another child. I hope I have another child. And I say that with all sincerity because in my opinion, conceiving a child is a miracle and something that shouldn't be taken for granted.

xo

Evolution of The Bump

Yesterday, while putting gas in my car, there was a very pregnant woman on the other side of the pump, and for a short moment, I longed for my bump. It's hard to believe that it's already been six months since I was pregnant with Sully. Only six short months since it was just the two of us and the bump, a time when our lives were so different. Evenings to do what we pleased with, sleeping in on the weekends, a day spent running errands, anything on a whim. Life was sweet, but it's sweeter now.

I remember saying to my husband on the night before Sully was born, how weird it would be to not be pregnant anymore. To have spent 10 months growing and nurturing this little being inside of me, already so in love with him despite never having met him yet. How is that even possible, I wondered, still wonder, some days? From that moment you find out your pregnant, to watching your belly expand at sometimes alarming rates, worried that your skin cannot possibly stretch any further, to all the little elbow and knee jabs, punches and kicks that would take my breath away, not from pain, but from complete awe that a tiny little person was not only growing inside of me, but making sure I knew it! How can you love someone so unconditionally when you haven't even met them yet?

My pregnancy wasn't a total walk in the park. There was a lot of hip and joint pain, especially near the end. And the shortness of breath that never let up, was difficult at the best of times, to say the least, but overall, I really enjoyed being pregnant. And not just for the reasons I mentioned above. I loved that for once, I wasn't self-conscious about wearing tight clothing because flaunting a belly bump is way more fun than flaunting a cheeseburger induced one. I loved how, at my job, when I would visit elderly clients, they would delight in the fact that I was pregnant, regardless of how well they knew me. Perfect strangers seemed friendlier, smiling at me, nodding hello, silently acknowledging that my being pregnant brought a sense of happiness to them and that the promise of new life was an exciting time. I engaged people when they wanted to know how far along I was, did I know if it was a boy or a girl, was it my first child. It was my pregnancy, my aches and pains, my joyful journey, but I let other people be a part of it which only enriched the entire experience for me.

When we first found out I was pregnant, we set out to take a picture once a week to document my ever-expanding belly, and while that seems like an easy task, it wasn't. We missed a few weeks here and there, for one reason or another. Usually because my hair wasn't done that day, but mostly because we would get lazy. It wasn't as easy as just snapping one picture. My poor husband had to put up with my numerous requests to re-take the same photo over and over until I was happy with it. The lighting was never the same and the camera we used often did wonky things, but I'm glad we captured the bump regardless of the imperfect pictures we have. Photographers we are not, but it's the memories, in the end, that matter.

Sullivan: Two Months

Our little Sullivan turned two months old on April 21. Two months. I can already hear the broken record that I will become - how can another month have passed so quickly? This little man is growing up before our very eyes and it blows my mind how I can see changes in him every day. When you look down at your baby in your arms, you think they are going to remain that size and shape for a long time, but then each day, you realize they are changing quicker than you are able to accept. It's a fascinating experience.

Dear Sullivan, at two months you:

> weigh almost 10 pounds. You love to eat, but have been a bit of a slow gainer.
> are still wearing most of your newborn sleepers. You've grown out of a few of them, but only because you are long and have long arms. The next size up sleepers are still a bit big and when I put you in one, I often find both your legs in one of the sleepers legs.
> have finally graduated to size 1 diapers at around 7 weeks.
> have started smiling, big grinning smiles, right around the time when your Aunty Vanessa came for a visit, when you were 6 weeks old. There is no better feeling than when you smile at me or your daddy.
> are really strong! You can hold your head up for several seconds at a time when I am holding you against my chest.
> are a little kicking machine. You can scooch yourself quite a ways across the floor, on the bed and out of a swaddle just from your kicks. Your dad and I get quite a kick (pun intended!) out of watching your little legs just a motor.
> are enjoying baths more since we got you a wash pod.
> love to be worn by me in your wrap. You have some of your best naps in it.
> still enjoy car rides but only when the car is moving.
> are becoming more and more squirmy and noisy during feedings, with your top leg often kicking out into arabesque. Maybe you'll be a dancer like your mommy after all.
> have been getting out of the house all the time now, including outings to IKEA with your Aunty Patty, the grocery store, the mall for shopping dates, Boston Pizza for lunch dates and lots of trips to Gramma's place.

Sully, different people tell me you look like me, or you look like your daddy. I just see you. This perfect little being, with the most perfectly shaped head. Your hair comes in more and more everyday, with it being blonder on top, and more orangey-red in the back. In the hospital, the nurses affectionately called you the little ginger baby. You have the biggest, bluest eyes and the cutest button nose. Ten perfectly, long fingers and ten perfect little toes. We love you so.

Welcome, Little Man (and a one month update!)

On February 21, 2014, at 10:26 am, we welcomed beautiful Sullivan Michael Fraser into this world. In a moment, our world, for the better, changed forever. I spent 9 months unable to really imagine life with  him, and now I cannot imagine life without him. I have had every intention of getting on-line sooner to show off our little man, but instead I have spent the last month (how has it been a month already!?) holding my dear son. (It's so very hard to find time to get onto a real computer when you have a newborn - kudos to all you mama's out there that are able to do so!)

Here's our little Sully from his first few days in our lives:

Last Friday, Sully turned 4 weeks old. I've always found myself conflicted with the passing of time, even more so now that I'm a mom. While a part of me curses that time flies by too quickly and wants Sully to stay little and in the newborn stage forever, another part of me can't wait to experience all the different milestones that occur in a baby's first year and to watch Sully grow up.

So with that being said, I am consciously trying to enjoy every moment I have with Sully. There are days where we camp out on the couch, spending hours nursing and napping in my arms because he doesn't want to be put down. There are days where unloading the dishwasher is a task to be celebrated and if I get in a quick shower, high five to me! But I know these days are limited and it won't be long before Sullivan is no longer a tiny little bean and won't want to be held all day long or while he is napping. So instead of feeling guilty about the laundry not folded, the supper not made, or spending the day in my pajamas, I stare at my beautiful son, burning to memory every little facial expression, squeal and sound he makes, all while holding him close to me.

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Dear Sullivan, at one month you:

> are still wearing new born clothing and diapers. At three weeks, you weighed 8 pounds - just a wee little guy.
> wet or dirty diapers do not bother you, but you hate having your diaper changed.
> do not enjoy having a bath.
> sleep best in my arms.
> have an incredibly strong neck and very powerful kicks.
> love listening to your daddy's voice when he reads you stories.
> hate being put into your car seat, but love car rides.
> have had 3 big outings: once to your first doctor's appointment, once to spend the day with me at your gramma's place and another time to Old Navy and then again to gramma's place.

Hey, Baby! 39 Weeks+

I started this post earlier in the week (closer to when I was actually 39 weeks, not almost 40), when I received a phone call from my doctor`s office that shook up my whole week. While it's not a secret, I haven't openly talked about it on the blog, but I've always known that Baby Fraser would be delivered via c-section due to medical complications from my past health history. Our original date of delivery was supposed to be on Monday, February 24. Now, it is tomorrow. And while I should be in bed, I needed to get out one last pregnancy update before I am no longer pregnant! Which still blows my mind and it still hasn't fully sunk in that this time tomorrow, I will finally be holding my sweet little baby in my arms.

So while I had planned on having a relaxing weekend of sleeping in, taking it easy and just hanging with my family, instead, I feel like that last few days have been a flurry of last minute to-dos. I mean, I've always been a last minute kind of person, and I totally understand that I could have gone into labour at any point this week regardless of my planned section, but STILL. It's all very weird knowing you will be delivering your baby tomorrow even though you've had no signs of labour. 

That being said, the thought of finally holding our little baby boy, after all these months of kicks and gentle reminders that there is in fact a little human growing inside of me brings me to tears and makes my heart swell up more than I ever thought possible. Pregnancy is honestly such a miracle and I feel very blessed that I've had a healthy, risk-free pregnancy and an overly supportive husband by my side. 

I've been pretty uncomfortable these past few weeks and while I say I'm not mentally ready for baby to come out (will I ever be mentally prepared??), physically, I am ready for him to make his entrance. I'm ready to be able to carry on a conversation without getting incredibly short of breath. I'm ready to not have so much pain in my legs by the end of the day that it's almost impossible to climb up the stairs to go to bed. I'm ready to see Jim be a dad and my parents be grandparents. It's time to welcome this baby boy into our lives and share him with our families!

I'll be back as soon as I can to introduce Baby Fraser to all of you! :)

xoxo Brie

The Nursery: Getting Started

Even before we found out that Baby Fraser is a boy, I knew I wanted to stick to a more gender neutral nursery. I love grey and white nurseries with pops of colour like yellow or navy, regardless if the room is for a boy or a girl. I am not a theme-loving girl (unless books are a theme), and I wanted to create not only a nursery, but a room that our baby can grow up and into. So I stuck to my guns, and looked for inspiration via pinterest and blogs when it came to creating our baby's nursery.

Here is my starting point:

I love grey because I feel it works well with so many colours and doesn't limit you as much in terms of decorating. So for the walls, I chose a Manhattan Mist by Behr. The crib and dresser will be white and the Bicycle Yellow, also by Behr, is for a bookshelf I am repainting for Baby Fraser's library. I have a few other projects in the works that will also be yellow.

I am happy to report that painting finally started this past week! The trim and doors in our home are all builder beige, so it was a no-brainer that the trim and doors in the nursery would need to be painted white.  The prep work for painting trim in a room with carpet is the worst part. Luckily, Jim took on that project all on his own :)

Here's a before picture of where we started with this nursery. This is pretty much what this room has looked like since we moved in. I lovingly refer to it as the "shit room", because it's where all our shit gets dumped. Please tell me we're not the only ones who have a room like this. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

It probably took us a good week, spending our evenings sorting through the piles of junk, deciding what to keep, what could be donated and what to throw away. It was worth it though because once we were done, it felt so good to have that room cleared out.

And here's the room all ready to be painted:

Already looks better!