May 08, 2014

31

Yesterday two days ago, I turned 31. It's a pretty insignificant birthday when compared to say, turning 30, but for me, it was my first birthday as a mum, which is anything less than significant in my books. I guess everything that happens this year on will be my first "as a mum", and it's still a thought that makes me smile.  If you had told me on my birthday last year, that I would be a mum on my 31st birthday, I would have laughed in your face, and then promptly downed my glass of champagne.  Not because I didn't want to be a mum, but because I never imagined I would become pregnant quite so soon after I turned 30. 

My 20s were all about me and now my 30s will be spent raising my son and making memories with my little family. It truly is the beginning of a new era. A journey I am both excited and nervous for.  You never really feel "ready" to become a parent and I was no more ready this year to become a mom then I was last year. I remember when I was a child, I believed my parents knew everything and had the answer for all life's questions. I thought this was just something that happened to all adults and so I assumed that one day, I too would all of a sudden know all the answers. Well, I'm still waiting for that day and I still think my mum has most of the answers. 

I've spent a lot of waking hours in the middle of the night (hello night feeds!), reflecting on my past 31 years, thinking about what the future holds, and all the things I've still to learn and what I want in this life for this little family of mine. Happiness. Peace. Adventure. Laughter. Love. Finding pleasure and joy in the everyday simple things of life. I recently watched the movie, About Time and there was a line near the very end of the film that really resonated with me:

I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life. -Tim, About Time

'My extraordinary, ordinary life'. I love that so much. I don't have a list of things I want to accomplish this year, no "32 before 32" bucket list. Instead, I promise myself to enjoy this simple life of mine, to find the extraordinary in what would otherwise appear ordinary. To spend my time with people I love, who's company I enjoy. To try hard to not compare myself to others, to not be too hard on myself when I'm having a tough day and struggling with this mum thing. To be kind to my husband, even when he's the easiest person to take my frustrations out on. To smile more, laugh lots and love strongly. And most of all, be present in the moment. Happy birthday, Me. 




4 comments:

  1. Love it! And happy birthday again! :) I'm totally with you, too -- I'd rather spend my time with people I love who make me happy. So far I'm doing a good job at that! And it's so great to spend my time with my little guy. He's such great company!

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    1. They are great company, aren't they? Even though they can't talk yet, they give a whole new purpose and meaning to my getting up in the mornings :)

      And thanks for the birthday wishes!

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  2. Vanessa BinickiMay 09, 2014 1:00 pm

    This was a beautiful post B! Watching you as a new mother is honestly so amazing, you are such a natural with lil Sully. He is SO lucky to have you as his mama, and Jim as his papa. And of course the rest of us as his crazy but super loving family :). Can't wait to see you guys next week! xoxoxo

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    1. Haha, you're so good for my ego! ;) I dunno about natural, but thank you for the compliment anyway :) Can't wait to see you soon too!

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